working with pain in meditation
Apr. 8th, 2019 05:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cattasallaI spent a few days at the Forest Dhamma monastery, and had an amazing time. Most notable was my interaction with Ajahn Dick. I asked him a few questions about my practice, about how I'm practicing vedanānupassanā and using that to watch wholesome and unwholesome states arise, and what to do from there, and he answered that question, but then began talking about how to deal with pain in meditation. Though I hadn't asked about it, it was actually a major issue as I had stopped sitting earlier in the day because of excruciating pain. He most likely expected that, as it's a common experience, and decided to give me instructions on it, which he was able to tailor for me based on the questions I had asked about my own practice. It was excellent.
I had heard the instructions before, in various forms, but for some reason, probably a combination of where I'm at in my practice and his ability to deliver the instructions clearly (meeting me where I'm at), they really hit me this time. The central problem with pain isn't the pain itself (unless, of course, it is indicating an actual problem that needs to be addressed) but with our reaction to the pain, and the subsequent narrative we spin about what it means and what we should do about it. So the task is to set all of that aside, and turn fully towards the pain and just experience it in its raw form. Indeed, try to pinpoint exactly where it is.
The first thing I noticed, when putting that into practice, is that it's actually pretty hard to pinpoint exactly where it is! Every time I thought I found it, it would either dissipate or move. So, for example, I'd have a general sense of aching or pain in my legs, and I'd try to find exactly where it was. I'd tune into my thighs, because that's where it felt most obvious, but then those would be fine, and the pain would be in my knees. So I'd turn to my knees, and those were fine, and the pain was in my calves.
Eventually I'd be able to find a spot that it didn't move from, and settle my attention there. And then it became imperative to set aside all of that perception-driven narrative, all of the papañca, the "mental proliferation". I found myself drawn into the experience, with a surprising amount of focus, similar to previous samādhic experiences I've had with my breath or body. And the funny thing was, as long as I maintained this state of concentration, I could be still. But the moment it slippped, suddenly it seemed as though my whole body was in agony and it absolutely demanded that I get up from my seat and stretch or lay down.
So that gives me more to work with.
Overall, as much as I want to jump ahead and start the dhamma-vicaya, the investigation of my experiences, I think it's wise for me to still do better at establishing my mindfulness. I could still be doing better at maintaining continuous present-moment awareness, and need to stop wanting to jump ahead of where I'm at in the practice. Patience!
I had heard the instructions before, in various forms, but for some reason, probably a combination of where I'm at in my practice and his ability to deliver the instructions clearly (meeting me where I'm at), they really hit me this time. The central problem with pain isn't the pain itself (unless, of course, it is indicating an actual problem that needs to be addressed) but with our reaction to the pain, and the subsequent narrative we spin about what it means and what we should do about it. So the task is to set all of that aside, and turn fully towards the pain and just experience it in its raw form. Indeed, try to pinpoint exactly where it is.
The first thing I noticed, when putting that into practice, is that it's actually pretty hard to pinpoint exactly where it is! Every time I thought I found it, it would either dissipate or move. So, for example, I'd have a general sense of aching or pain in my legs, and I'd try to find exactly where it was. I'd tune into my thighs, because that's where it felt most obvious, but then those would be fine, and the pain would be in my knees. So I'd turn to my knees, and those were fine, and the pain was in my calves.
Eventually I'd be able to find a spot that it didn't move from, and settle my attention there. And then it became imperative to set aside all of that perception-driven narrative, all of the papañca, the "mental proliferation". I found myself drawn into the experience, with a surprising amount of focus, similar to previous samādhic experiences I've had with my breath or body. And the funny thing was, as long as I maintained this state of concentration, I could be still. But the moment it slippped, suddenly it seemed as though my whole body was in agony and it absolutely demanded that I get up from my seat and stretch or lay down.
So that gives me more to work with.
Overall, as much as I want to jump ahead and start the dhamma-vicaya, the investigation of my experiences, I think it's wise for me to still do better at establishing my mindfulness. I could still be doing better at maintaining continuous present-moment awareness, and need to stop wanting to jump ahead of where I'm at in the practice. Patience!