On Sensuality, Love, and Liberation: Three Approaches to Spirituality
There isn’t a word in the Indian languages the Buddha taught in that could be translated exactly as “spiritual.” The closest is nirāmisa, which literally means “not flesh” or “not raw meat.” In a narrow sense, we might restrict the idea of a Buddhist “spiritual” path to nothing other than that which the Buddha taught as the highest aspiration: complete liberation from suffering, and from the great Wandering (the literal definition of saṃsāra). But, since we really don’t have a precise definition for the word, can there be other options? I’d like to step back and consider.
What "Cattasallā" Means
First, what does cattasalla mean? He gave me an initial definition of “pulling out the thorn,” and then further explained that salla can mean anything sharp. It could mean a thorn, but could also mean a dart or an arrow.
Freedom From Liking and Disliking
But then we meet one of those masters. We watch a video from an Ajahn, or meet a monastic who has been in robes for more than a decade. We see how happy they are. They don't look like their lives are a constant gray blah! They smile, they laugh, and they are warm and kind. Maybe their writings sound a bit harsh at times, but in person they radiate a simple joy. They may even look happier than we've ever imagined possible.
Freedom from liking and disliking is the secret.
What does it mean to go with the flow?
What does "refuge" mean?
Yes and No: The Two Parts of Making Mindfulness Work
fruits of stream entry
Translation of Suttanipāta 4.1 Kāmasuttaṃ
For one with a mind that desires sensuality,
if it works out well for them,
their mind is most certainly joyful.
A mortal having acquired what they wish.
If, for they who ride in desire,
for the person in whom want is born,
those sensual pleasures dwindle,
they are hurt as if pierced by something sharp.
They who avoid sensual pleasures
as one avoids a serpent's head with the foot,
mindful, they escape
getting stuck on the world.
That one who is greedy for
fields, property, gold,
cattle, servants or employees,
women, relatives, or various sensual pleasures:
The weak overpower them.
Danger crushes them.
Because of this, suffering follows them
like a breached boat taking on water.
Therefore, a person, always mindful,
should avoid sensual pleasures.
Having left them behind, they could cross the flood.
Having bailed out their boat, they cross over.
some thoughts on yogācāra
I should add that I don't think any of this philosophical apparatus is really all that necessary if you just stick close to the practice as outlined in the EBTs. But once speculations and theorizing and highly technical elaborating on the basic doctrines therein begins, you almost need Mahāyāna philosophy.
So I have a few thoughts. First, the "basis consciousness", more popularly known as the "storehouse consciousness". The monastics at the Hillside Hermitage teach about what they call the "periphery" and how to discern the periphery. This comes through clearly on their teachings on mindfulness of body, wherein they point out that a sense can never sense itself, for example, the eye cannot see itself, therefore the body-sense can't sense the body, but instead senses bodily sensations. The two are to be distinguished, and the body is fundamentally unknowable. But we can know its effects on our experience...the arising of lust and craving, for example. We can feel the pressure it exerts on us when we engage in renunciation and restraint (especially for those of us for whom desire is our dominant affliction!). This idea suffuses their teachings on yoniso manasikāra and satipaṭṭhāna, as well. My take on this is that this peripheral thing that influences our experience, even giving rise to the objects and features of our experience, is the same thing as what the storehouse consciousness is referring to. It is fundamentally unknowable directly, and we can only know it by the effects it has on our conscious experience. It is a repository of all of our habitual structures, our cognitive scheme, the physiology of our perceptual systems, everything that shapes our experience that is not directly part of the experience. As such it is not a thing itself, but a process, a continuous transformation, and "storehouse consciousness" is just a convenient way to label it.
Then there's the I-maker, the me-maker, the part that does the grasping and identifying, that relates everything to a self, either by identifying with it or by appropriating it as a possession (i.e., takes a percept as "my" percept, one that belongs to a perceiving self that is separate from the percept). This seems quite straightforwardly to me as the manas.
And finally there's the realm of sense-consciousness itself (by which I mean all six senses, so both physical and mental things). For a nonenlightened person such as myself, anything that makes it to my actual sensual experience has first been transformed by the storehouse consciousness, given various determinations and limitations because of that, then gets processed by the I-maker and related to a self in some capacity, and then finally becomes something I actually experience.
I am not entirely clear on what "reversal of the basis" is, other than it's something that happens when you do objectless meditation (such as animitta cetosamādhi, which is my central meditation practice) and has something to do with clearing out or purifying the storehouse consciousness. This is not a thing that makes sense to me. I also admit a very weak grasp on the "three realities" teaching, although that one I find somewhat more intriguing.
Deepening Choice
This unfortunately leads to a tendency for people to say things that imply that all one has to do is make different choices, or somehow otherwise magically change their mindset, to be free of difficulties in life, as if that’s an easy task. That attitude belongs on r/thanksimcured. While it is true, in some sense—we do to a large degree create our own realities and then inhabit them (within the limitations of the physical world)—it is quite simply the case that most of these processes of choice and reality-construction are outside the deliberate control of most people. To gain this control, to even fully see how these dynamics operate, a great deal of training is needed…and often medication, as well.
I don’t think the language we have surrounding this is inadequate. Can we meaningfully be said to be choosing our experience and attitudes when we are incapable of consciously making those choices? If they are being decided by parts of ourselves that we may not even know about? Is intention something that has to be conscious, or can we have intentions that we are not conscious of? I don’t think anyone can or should say that this is the case—that we have a choice in something we are not capable of consciously choosing. I would say that the practice of the Dhamma creates choices where none previously existed. Perhaps as a nitpick one might insist that what it’s actually doing is revealing that there was already a choice that we were making and we just weren’t making it deliberately, but I don’t think in really matters. Maybe we can be said to have unconscious intentions, rooted in attitudes we may only be dimply aware of. Furthermore, for many of us, we have a brain condition that needs to be addressed with medication in order to make it possible to make any choice that is healthy and liberating. If I need medication to function in a stable way, can I be said to really have agency over these subtle and deep actions?
At any rate, the notion that we actively participate in the construction of our experience can be helpful or it can be harmful. It can be helpful because, for one thing, it’s true, and knowing that and working to unearth the ways in which we do this active participation without knowing gives us a gread deal of power over our own minds and our lives. On the other hand, it can be used as a bludgeon, as a way of blaming someone for a difficult life and saying they are somehow morally inferior or deficient of character. This has multiple harmful effects, including creating or exacerbating the self-loathing that a person may feel that prevents them from feeling even worthy to do the work that would give them that control, and creating a reaction in a person against this notion and thus preventing them from seeing it’s possible to do that work.
So, yeah. We have more choice than we may realize in what we experience and how we experience it, but we may not have access to the ability to make that choice, and that’s where Dhamma comes in.
understand both cause and effect to eliminate bad behavior
Any behavior has causes. These causes may be surface-level desires or fears, or they may be rooted in deep unconscious structures and traumas. Many times we do something harmful to ourselves or others without fully understanding why we're doing it. So it's important to unearth these causes, and understand why we do what we do. If we do not understand and address these subtle or deep causes, we will never be successful at changing a behavior we want to change. As long as the causes remain, the impulse to behave in that way will continue.
But I find this often isn't enough. I have seen some assert that all one needs to do is become aware of one's own behavior, and its causes and consequences, and that person will naturally let go. And sometimes this works, but often for me it is not enough. Perhaps I haven't penetrated with enough wisdom, but in any case I often find more work is needed. These behaviors are usually ones that have been repeated and reinforced over our whole lives (possibly even more, if we do indeed have multiple lives). Even if we understand the motivations and reasons for our harmful decisions, the force of habit will still pull us in that direction. So in every moment, we need to realize we have a choice: To follow-through on harmful behaviors, or to take deliberate and helpful actions--even if that action is merely restraint. The more we make the better choices, the easier they will become to make in the future, until that itself becomes a habit.
A quick aside: I do not want to be misinterpreted here as "you choose your reality" or "you choose your moods" or something. I don't want to end up on r/thanksimcured! As someone with a severe mental illness rooted in my physiology and genetics, which thus requires medication, I would say that while it's arguable that everything is a choice, it might not be within our capabilities to make that choice. This will be a topic for a future post, but I would say that part of the practice of the Dhamma and mindfulness is to strengthen our ability to broaden our control over more of our minds and lives, but there are some things we may not ever be able to control. In any event, acceptance of where you're at is necessary, even if you want to make a change afterwards.
the four noble truths and the three characteristics
The four noble truths—-or true realities of the noble ones, as a more modern translation would have it—-are seeing that difficulty exists, that its origin is in craving, that with the cessation of craving comes the cessation of difficulty, and how that can be accomplished by the noble eightfold path. It is when we see our difficulties—-our stress, our suffering—-and we see how we create them for ourselves in the way we cling to ideas or objects. Seeing this leads naturally to seeing the way to be free: Simply stop clinging and let go. And we see how the noble eightfold path supports this process.
But this simultaneously means recognizing the three characteristics. In order to let go, we need to see that what we are clinging to is simply not worth the trouble. That it is unstable, transient, impermanent, and any amount of clinging or wanting won’t change that. We see that doing so makes things difficult. And at the subtler level, we come to see the ways we identify with or appropriate things, investing impersonal processes with some kind of identity or as some kind of property, are the root of the problem.
So there isn’t really a dramatic difference between these ideas. Like many things in Buddhism, they’re really just two ways of getting at the same basic activity of letting-go, and working with either (or both) will do the yogi just fine.
some thoughts on translation
There's this tendency to want to use one and only one English word to gloss a Pāli word. This, I think, is misguided. First off, the same word can have different meanings in different contexts, just like many English words. Second off, there's often subtleties and nuances to the Pāli word that quite simply cannot be captured by a single English word--one which will carry its own subtleties and nuances in many cases. This is especially true for those words of interest to the practice.
So, some new translations I'm trying out:
Sīla. Heretofore I have been simply rendering that as "ethics". But I was just alerted to the fact that it can also more broadly mean "behavior" or "habit". I think that's important. First, it encompasses both ethical training but also renunciant practices. It also highlights the fact that we're trying to change our behavior, to restructure our habits to be healthier and more beneficial to ourselves and others, which we do by making healthy, beneficial, and wise choices in every moment. So I think "behavior" works pretty well for this, and I can modify it when appropriate for the context.
Upekkhā. That's typically translated as "equanimity". I'm thinking of two major contexts where it appears: As one of the bramhavihāras and one of the seven factors of awakening. In the former, I think "loving acceptance" might actually fit the bill better. The point is to regard someone's faults and virtues with the same loving heart. In the context of the seven factors, I think "serenity" might do better. I do have a previous post on this, and I've come around to this notion. "Equipose" is also a good gloss. One friend points out that there is a certain connation of close observation to this word. I'm not entirely sure how to integrate that into my thinking around the translation (he likes "serene observation"), and at this point it doesn't seem like one of the more important features of this quality. But, my thoughts on these topics are ever-changing so who knows what the future holds.
Dukkha. In contexts where this is normally translated as "suffering", that's recently been regarded as a poor rendering. Ajahn Thanissaro uses "stress and suffering", which does a better job of conveying the scope. Many will use "dis-ease", which highlights that really, at the heart of it, it's a lack of ease (a great rendering for sukha), and has a connection with disease (and thus the idea of the Buddhist path as one of healing). However, I find neologisms like that awkward. An aesthetic choice, I suppose. I was wanting a word that is the opposite of "ease". "Unease" is the wrong flavor of word. "Difficulty", however, seems to work, so for now I'm using that and seeing how it gfeels.
Kusala and akusala. This is one of those words that loses meaning when given only one English word to translate it. My desire is to get across both the sense of "wholesome" or "ethical" and the sense of "skill". So for now I am trying out "ethically skilled" and "ethically inept", respectively.
a few thoughts on translating from Pali
My proclivities about translation have evolved over time. At one point, I tried to maintain as much fidelity as I could to the grammar of the original. But, while it may be useful for me, and certainly useful for that to be a stage in the translation process as I work with the sentence and try to find the English for it, it also makes for what is probably awkward and clumsy reading for someone not familiar with the texts. I think this is probably the motivation for Bhante Sujato's translations, which are often what I would consider pretty loose.
Also, there is this tendency to want to find exactly one English word to fit one Pali word, and to choose an English word that best encompasses all the nuances of the Pali. But that's really often impossible, especially for words that are important philosophically or for practice! For example, instead of trying to render kusala as either "skilled" or "wholesome", I'm now using "ethically skilled" (and "ethically inept" for akusala). I think in order to convey the meaning of words like that it's better to use a couple words covering more aspects of its meaning. And also to choose different words for the different contexts.
beauty
So, there's this word kalyāṇa. To my knowledge, it is used in two main ways. One is in the phrase kalyāṇa kamma, usually translated as "good actions", "good deeds", or "good karma". The other is in the phrase kalyāṇa mitta, usually translated as "spiritual friends" or "admirable friends". But here's the thing. The first definition of kalyāṇa is "beautiful". Good deeds are beautiful deeds. Good friends, the friends who help us in our lives and our spiritual practice, are beautiful friends.
Doing good, and supporting each other, are acts of beauty. They create beauty. And because our lives are shaped by our actions, doing good and helping each other fashions a life of beauty.
I think that's, well, beautiful.
sadness as resistance from the defilements
All these things--stretches, meditation, learning and writing--are beneficial to me. They improve my mood, they deepen my practice, they are valuable accessories for my ongoing war on my defilements. So I'm inclined to think that this sadness and resistance is really a tactic from the defilements. They know they're facing eradication and doing everything they can to protect themselves. But I will not falter, and I will free myself of them!
Also, I'm increasingly regarding the word "defilement" as distasteful. The overall idea is that the clean, pure mind is dirtied, is sullied, by impurities. I don't particularly like the word "impurity", either, although it probably fits better. Working on coming up with better words...
navigating a multitude of teachings
But the array of teachings available can be overwhelming, especially to newcomers. How do you pick what among the diverse teachings are valid ones?
First off, the Buddha gives us guidelines for that in the famous Kālāma Sutta. While often mistakenly taken as some sort of free rein to believe whatever a person wants--which is most definitely not what it says!--it does give us the guideline that the validity of any spiritual practice, including the ones taught by the Buddha, only derive from witnessing the results of putting them into practice. If they reduce greed, hate, and delusion, they are valid.
So this should be our first clue.
Overall, though, we still need to make some kind of decision what to try in the first place. Probably the best thing to do is to review a variety of teachings and find what best resonates. Some presentation of the Dhamma will seem more "right" for the individual than others. This can form a first pass at deciding what teachings to try out. And what seems "right" for one person may not be for another...this is why we are at such an advantage for having such variety. Once this is done, it's generally best to narrow down to a limited set of teachings, a particular tradition, and give that five or six years of dedication before evaluating whether or not to change it up.
That said, there is a huge danger in this. First off, the student is almost guaranteed to go down some blind alleys. I mean, the Buddha himself did this before discovering the Dhamma! Some things will be tried, perhaps even for an extended period of time, and will just never work. Some things might even be detrimental, and this is where honesty and an accurate self-perception (as well as advice from a teacher who knows you well) are vital. It is essential to be able to tell when a teaching is not working for you, not having the intended effect, even when you think it is right or otherwise like it. As a personal example, when I was younger I absorbed a lot of Mahāyāna and Tantric teachings about how pleasure is okay to experience, as long as you don't get attached to it. (This is, in fact, a teaching that goes all the way back to the EBTs!) I took that as license to indulge in whatever I wanted as much as I wanted, telling myself I was not attached to any of it. I was lying to myself. I was, in fact, quite attached to all of those sensual pleasures. I still am, in fact...this is my primary area of work right now. For someone whose main problem is, say, hate, then it's not as big of a deal to indulge...they may even be able to indulge without attachment quite easily. For someone whose main problem is greed, like me, this is not the case.
So, while we must find what teachings best resonate with ourselves, we also must be cautious not to be deluding ourselves into thinking a teaching that is right for us when it is actually wrong...that it is helping us when it is actually harming us. Or else we have no hope of advancing in the practice.
acceptance, but not complacency
The Buddha was quite clear that we need to train our minds. Unless we have reached full arahantship, he explicitly teaches to not be satisfied. To not be complacent. To continue striving. Not in a way that you never take a break or rest, the effort should be balanced at best, but for most people oscillates between intensity and some degree of slack. But we are to look at ourselves, see what needs changing, and work on it.
This is not to say acceptance has no place. Indeed, it is vital for the process of effective change. We have to accept where we're at. We have to acknowledge our current shortcomings as well as our current strengths. Denial and repression get us nowhere, and neither does shame or embarrassment. It is vital to accept where we are, and accept what is happening.
But once the current reality of our minds is accepted, we can work to change it. We can build on our strengths and overcome our shortcomings. More love, more letting go (a bit paradoxical, yes).
A Buddhist friend who was a therapist for awhile told me of a therapy technique called ACT: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. That's what the Buddha taught, and that's what I'm talking about here. Complete acceptance of your current state of being, without guilt or fear or anxiety or arrogance, along with a commitment to change in specific ways...to apply right effort and uproot our unwholesome, unskillful, unhealthy, harmful tendencies and replace them with wholesome, skilled, healthy, helpful tendencies.